The sad news that Fifty Shades of Grey will not feature any full-frontal has left many of us devastated. Fear not, however! Jezebel is here to pick up the rubble and distract you with the 50 best theme, you see? Trust us, these pictures will make your mood rise. As a former video store clerk with the smug, "unimpressed by your choices" attitude many have come to love and expect from people working minimum-wage jobs that others aren't cool enough for , I have a great fondness for letting people know all about the accidental and not-so-accidental genitals they may see in a movie of their choice. I was never shy about letting customers know if the movie they were renting had an excellent dick shot of a beloved celebrity or an especially good butt scene.
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